


To Start and End in Pieces

by screamingarrows



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Gen, Hurt Tony, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:48:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4770650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingarrows/pseuds/screamingarrows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Captain, a building's fallen," Thor's voice is grave on the now silent comm. He sees Natasha whip her head to him but then Clint's voice is speaking through the ear piece, and makes his hair stand on end at the base of his neck. </p><p>"I don't have eyes on Iron Man." <br/>-----</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Start and End in Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is set shortly after the Avengers and I'm firmly in the camp of Italian!Tony

Valediction _noun_  
  
An act of bidding farewell. 

* * *

“Something smells good,” Rhodey calls out when the elevator doors open into Tony’s living space. Well, technically Tony’s; Pepper has a smaller apartment on the edge of New Jersey, and Rhodey’s got a place near the base, but both are used primarily for safe-houses or when they just need time away from each other for work. 

“That’s the garlic bread,” Pepper says from the kitchen and Rhodey slides his shoes off before heading in that direction.  

He hadn’t seen either Pepper or Tony in weeks, having been sequestered on a base in Ohio for a demo, and his chest warms when he turns the corner and sees them looking blissfully domestic. Tony’s at the counter, grating cheese into a small bowl and Pepper’s at the stove, stirring a pot of pasta. Rhodey grins upon seeing them and walks up behind Tony, grabbing the smaller man by the waist and twisting him around for a kiss. Tony grins against his lips and when he pulls back, Rhodey matches the expression.  

Rhodey gives a satisfied hum as he makes his way over to Pepper and says, “I love Italian.” 

He can see Tony half-turn in his peripherals and he fights off the laugh threatening to explode from him. Pepper hosts no such battle and when Rhodey leans in, he can feel her laughter in his mouth. She cocks her head, when they part, and she looks back at Tony. 

“Don’t we all.” 

Rhodey bites his lip and turns just in time to see Tony roll his eyes and go back to grating, shaking his head. 

“I should have you both arrested,” he mumbles, but his pleasure is evident in the lit of his voice. 

“What can I do to help?” Rhodey asks, ignoring Tony’s faux-complaint and turning to Pepper. Pepper smiles and leans in to kiss him again, a quick peck on the lips, before saying, “I think we’ve got it covered.” 

Rhodey nods and pulls out a chair at the breakfast counter and sits with his chin in his hands. He’s just so glad to be home, glad to be back with them, glad they’re all together and happy. He lets his eyes close, content to just sit and listen to the sound of Pepper and Tony talk to each other, breathing in the smells of garlic bread and the home scent that’s distinctly theirs. 

He only zones back in when he hears Pepper call his name in a soft voice. He lets his eyes slowly open and he sees both of them looking at him. Pepper’s concern was written plainly on her face, in her posture, and Tony’s was noticeable in his eyes, the way they roamed him before settling on his face. 

“You okay?” Tony asks, and Rhodey nods with a soft smile. 

“Yup, I’m just glad to be home,” he says and both his partners relax before smiling back at him. 

“Glad your home too,” Tony replies, grabbing two plates with their finished meal on them and turning to head into the dining room. 

Pepper lingers, handing him the third plate. “Rough month?” 

“Doesn’t matter,” he says, “I’m home now.” Her hand squeezes his upper arm before she grabs the drinks. She follows him to the table, where Tony’s already arranging their dishes and silverware into a pseudo-proper form. 

They’ve just started to eat when Tony feels the bracelets on his wrist pulse softly. He curses, twisting one around to look at the illuminated ASSEMBLE along the silver band. He looks up to see both Rhodey and Pepper looking at him and he forces a smile, hoping it didn’t look bitter. 

“Duty calls,” he says apologetically, pushing back his chair. They stand and say “What’s wrong?” at the same time and Tony is mildly impressed at the synchronization. 

“Avenger business. Sorry I’m skipping out,” he says, pressing a kiss to the corner of Pepper’s mouth and then stretching to kiss Rhodey. He knows how important these dinners are, as few and far between as they come. He hates that he’s missing this one, hates how impossible it is for them to spend time with each other. 

He heads to the elevator, Rhodey and Pepper following him like ducklings. 

“Want me to suit up? We could get home in half the time,” Rhodey’s voice is serious and Tony gives him a wry grin. 

“No, really, you two just stay and eat and I’ll try and be home for dessert.” He wiggles his eyebrows, trying to get one of them to smile, trying to break the sudden tension that’s around every time he has to assemble. 

“We’re not going to eat without you,” Pepper says sharply, before blinking at the tone and offering a tight smile to soften the words. “We’ll keep it warm and then eat together when you come home.” 

Tony can’t fight the grin that pulls his mouth up, as the elevator doors open and he backs into the metal box. 

“Sound deal,” he says, smiling wide. “Love you.”

“We love you,” they answer, again in unison, and Tony’s suddenly overwhelmed with the love he feels for them and it loosens the tight knot of worry in his chest as the doors close and the elevator ascents to the roof.  

—-

“What’ve we got Cap?” Tony snaps when he’s linked in with the team’s comms. 

“I’m not entirely sure,” Steve replies, hesitating a moment. Tony can hear Clint in the background, and assumes they’re still together flying en route. “They’re, people, similar to the Hulk.”

Tony frowns. “I thought Bruce said that couldn’t happen.”

“I’m just telling you what I see.” 

“Tell Bruce to put his comm. in,” Tony instructs, and a moment later there’s a slight fuzz then click and Bruce’s voice is sharing the line. 

“What’s going on?” Tony asks immediately and he can practically hear Bruce shrug and play with the nose band of his glasses. 

“I don’t know. This, this shouldn’t be possible. Ross had to use my blood last time.” 

“Last time?” Tony snaps and then instantly feels bad. It’s not his teams’ fault he’s missing dinner. 

“There was a soldier, Blonsky. Ross turned him into a weapon. Looks like these. Called him the Abomination.” 

“Damn. Do you think Blonsky could be behind this? Use his own blood and come back for revenge with a mutated army? That’s what I’d do if someone gave me the name Abomination.” 

Tony can hear Steve’s huff of disapproval but Bruce was speaking again before Steve or Tony could say anything. “No, no he couldn’t turn back. There was… something was wrong, and so they locked him up.” 

“Who locked him up?” There’s a pause. “Who, Bruce?” 

Tony barely waits for a reply and barks out an order for JARVIS to find out, when Bruce’s voice cracks as he answers, “Ross.”

Tony pauses at hearing his friend sound so defeated and he wishes he were able to see his face. 

“Bruce?” He asks softly, hoping someone on the plane is helping him through whatever is going on. 

“He… he lied, he had more. He- this is because of me.”

“No.” He replied instantly, at the same moment Steve’s voice echoes his statement. “This is not your fault.” 

Bruce makes a noise like he disagrees and Tony wants to curse. 

“Listen, buddy, we’ll talk more about this later, but nothing that happens today is because of you alright? This is all Ross, okay, he did this.” 

Tony can hear the muffled sounds of Steve talking, and then his voice is clear on the line. “Bruce’s comm. is off. Tony, we’ve got to make sure nothing happens today.” 

Tony nods. “You got it Cap. Are we talking, use as much force as possible, or are we just trying to stop them.” 

Steve huffs, obviously torn and Tony frowns. “Just play it by ear?” He offers as suggestion and Steve hums his approval, obviously not pleased with not having a concrete plan. 

“Alrighty,” Tony says, forcing his voice chipper. “I’m nearing ground zero. How far out are you?” 

Steve shouts for the ETA and Tony can pick up Natasha’s voice. “Four minutes.” 

“I can hold my own for four minutes,” Tony says, urging the suit faster. 

Shortly after, there are several humming sounds and then click and Tony’s accompanied by the sounds of his team.  

Tony throws himself right into the fray, when he sees the mutated humans, their bodies large and skin dyed wrong colors. They’re growling, roaring louder than the Hulk, tearing chunks off of buildings and smiling at the screams. Anger heats up Tony’s body, anger at these beings who like these people’s fear, anger at Ross for fucking everything up, anger that he’s missing Rhodey and Pepper and being with them after so long of being apart. 

With a snarl of his own, he flies past one that’s a dull blue, shooting his repulser beams at its back before zipping off to the next one, this one a livid red. He makes his way through them, attracting as much attention as possible. He knows he has to lead them away from the buildings, away from people not yet evacuated, but he wonders just how much trouble he’d be in if he let them destroy Central Park. 

He’s about to ask JARVIS when Steve starts speaking over the comm., startling Tony for a moment. 

“We’ve touched down and are headed toward you.” Tony nods, despite knowing Steve can’t see him. 

“Good, we’ve got a lot out here. Bring out the Hulk and we might recreate the rainbow.” 

“What are you talking about, Stark?” Natasha asks. Tony doesn’t respond and moments later he hears, “Oh.”

He smirks to himself and then Cap is issuing orders over the comms, Hulk is roaring to life, while Natasha and Thor scatter like they’re told. He makes a beeline for Clint and lands just long enough to grip his waist before shooting off to the best roof. 

They’ve done this, a lot. It’s standard routine by now and yeah, sure, this is new, but their formation isn’t. 

They’re a team and it shows. 

They manage to neutralize the first three easily; they were smaller, no less mean though, and the suit took a thorough beating. 

Tony pulled up the time on his HUD while he waited for the brief moment of dizziness to subside. He smiled, it’s been less than an hour since they started; he might make it home before midnight after all. 

“Hey Big Blue!” He calls out, seeing the dull blue mutation trying to slink off away from the fight. It turned, snarling. Tony urged the suit towards him, repulser’s humming before releasing, slamming into Blue’s chest. It jerked back, before reaching out to swat at Tony. He barely managed to avoid being hit, before shooting at him again. The mutation swatted, the exact same way he did the first time, and Tony doesn’t waste time rolling his eyes. 

“So I guess the color of your skin isn’t the only think that’s dull, am I right?” It roared, sending vibrations all the way through the suit, and then it lunged at him. Tony jerked the suit back, only to slam into something at his back. He spins, trying to fly up and out of the trap he’d unknowingly found himself in, but it wasn’t fast enough. A large orange mutation the color of old carrots grabbed his leg before he could burst off. It pulled him back down, into the hands of Blue. 

“I could use some backup over here!” He called into the comms.  

There wasn’t an immediate response, and Blue squeezes him, one hand around his torso and the other wrapping around his legs. 

"Now!” 

He twists, trying to use his jets to burn himself free, but when Blue lets go, Orange is there to grab him, crushing his boots. He can feel the metal digging into his skin uncomfortably, and he knows he’ll be down for the rest of the fight unless he can get a new suit out here asap. 

He’s about to call, again, for backup, when there’s a roar he’s intimately familiar with, and Hulk comes running down the street. 

Compared to these goliath mutations, Hulk is small, and Tony feels irrationally worried and overprotective of his green friend. 

The feeling goes away soon after arriving, when Hulk launches himself at Blue. They rock into the building next to them and then Blue is jumping, pushing at Hulk until they’re both barreling through the building across the street. 

The ominous sounds of rumbling echo down the street, before it begins to sway. Tony calls out a warning, and Hulk looks up, before kicking Blue off, right into Orange. Hulk jumps after them, and Orange, in a fit of panic, tosses Tony towards Hulk. 

Hulk doesn’t notice, and gives angry chase after the two mutations.

Tony finds himself in the center of the building, staring up at a trembling ceiling.  

—-

The building fell around him slowly, like in a movie. 

It was actually pretty neat, and half of Tony makes a note to research why the brain slows things down during something traumatic. 

The downside? The pain was also in slow motion. 

He could hear the suit crunching under the weight of cement and wood and metal. The already-compromised torso caves in, the metal digging into his torso. 

The scream that erupts from him seems to set time back to normal, because once he comes to his senses, bites off the pain and blinks the tears from his eyes, the dust is settling and it’s all over. 

He can hear the team, shouting for him. Their voices seem to echo in his ear and when he opens his mouth, he has to swallow more screams before he can get out, “Guys, I need an evac now.” 

His voice cracks but he can’t bring himself to care when it feels like his body is being cut in half. 

“Tony where are you?” Tony blinks, tries to look around but all he sees is darkness. 

“I don’t…JARVIS’ll send a signal.” 

He hopes. God, if JARVIS is down, what is he going to do then? There’s barely anytime to panic before the HUD flickers to life, a circular light linking into existence across his screen, before dimming as it spreads wider, like ripples in a lake. 

It’s calming and Tony tries to lose himself in the repetition. 

“Did you, do you see it?” Tony asks, trying to keep the pain from his voice and failing. 

“No, God, Tony. You’re… shit; you must be at the bottom of the pile. The signal isn’t reaching us.” 

Panic. Panic floods his system, shoving out all thoughts and feelings. He’s going to die here. He’s going to die here. He’s going to die here.

“Tony! Listen to me!” Natasha’s voice cuts through him and he blinks, moves his eyes like he expects to see her there with him. He notices he can taste copper on his lips. He knows that’s never a good sign. 

“Hmm?” He groans out. The pain in his abdomen is sharp, but cold, almost numb now. 

“We will get you out, do you hear me? We’re going to get you.” 

Sure, he thinks. Sure they will. They’ll get him out and it’s fine. It’s all fine. 

“Thor and Hulk are moving the rubble now.” Steve’s voice sounds distracted. Of course, Tony knows, suddenly. They still have to fight. There were at least three more mutations left. 

There’s not enough time. 

He forces himself to take a breath, and makes his voice steady. 

“Thanks guys,” it came out smooth. Normal. Good. “I’ll see you when you get here.” He turns the comm. off. 

“J? J you with me?” 

“Al-way-s Si-r,” the electronic voice was cutting in and out, elongating the syllables and Tony’s heart thuds in his chest. 

“Can you get a stable line to the tower? Got someone I need to call.” There’s a pause, and Tony almost thinks JARVIS is gone before the voice fills his helmet again.

“W-ould yo-u like m-e to pl-lac-e the ca-ll?” 

“Yeah.” Tony wants nothing more than to hear their voices again. To have them tell him he’s loved, and that they’ll be okay. To lie and say he’ll be okay. He wants them with him, when he gives into the dreariness and lets his eyes close.  

The ache to be wrapped up in Rhodey’s arms, to pin Pepper against a wall and kiss like they’re teenagers in love, is so strong, Tony’s heart starts racing.  

He wants them so badly, right now. He wants to hold their hand. To say goodbye. He wants for their last kiss not to be some half-assed peck on the cheek.

He wants, and just like usual, he has to be denied. Cold realization washes over him, amplifying the pain in his gut. 

How selfish is that? How selfish is he to call them, and tell them he’s dying, and that there’s nothing they can do. How could he do that to them? How could he lay here, and tell them goodbye? How could he do that to Pepper, again? 

And so, only seconds after he gave his okay to JARVIS, Tony adds, “J, don’t tell them.” 

There’s no sound of acknowledgment, but Tony knows his AI heard him because a moment later, the sound of a phone ringing fills his ears. 

“Tony?” Pepper’s voice is high, tight with worry. He takes a shallow breath. 

“Hey, Pep,” he greets, hoping he sounds casual. 

“Rhodey,” Pepper’s voice sounds muffled and then, “Tony’s calling.”

“You’re on speaker,” she says before Rhodey’s speaks, “Tony, what’s wrong?” 

His chest hurts, now. He swallows; it’s more blood than saliva. “Nothing, I just wanted-,” what did he want to say? Shit, it should not be this hard to remember. Oh, right. “-to let you two know that this’ll probably take a while, so you should go ahead and eat, so it’s not, gross.” 

“We can wait-,” Pepper says, and Tony makes a noise. It’s mostly from pain but Pepper seems to think it’s of disagreement, and so Tony rolls with it. 

“No, I know how hard you worked on it.” 

“Tony, it’s just pasta and garlic bread.” 

_I love Italian._

_Don’t we all._

His hands are shaking. He can feel the tears welling in his eyes and he forces himself to smile. “Okay, you know how hard I worked on it.” 

“I’m going to suit up,” Rhodey says, suddenly decisive. “Send me the coordinates.” 

“ _No_!” the protest explodes out of him. The thought of Rhodey fighting these things, of Rhodey hurt, trapped, alone, God, it sends shivers down his spine. He can hear the silence on the other end of the phone and forces out a painful chuckle. “Nah, the battle’s almost over. It’ll mostly be paperwork left; there’s been a lot of structural damages.” 

“Tony,” Rhodey’s voice edges a warning and Tony takes in a breath to laugh. 

“My honey badger,” he can hear Rhodey snort. “Really, it’ll be boring. You do not want to get roped into this. Just, just you two go eat, maybe watch a movie and cuddle. We haven’t seen you in weeks, Rhodey. Let Pepper get her lovin’.”

“Okay,” Rhodey finally relents and Tony smiles. A hollow victory. 

“We’ll see you when you get home,” Pepper says and oh God, they, they can’t hang up, not, not yet. 

“I love you.” He says quickly, hoping to catch them before they ended the call. 

“I love you too,” Pepper says softly, smile in her voice. “Be safe.” Tony closes his eyes. 

“Love you too, Tones.”

The line beeps its ending and Tony doesn’t have the strength to open his eyes. 

“JARVIS?” He calls out shakily. His body hurts, he’s cold. It’s dark. He wishes he could see. 

“Y-es S-ir?” 

“Take care of ‘em. Pr’mise me, J.” 

“I p-rom-mise.” Tony lets out a soft sigh. 

“Th’nk yo’ J. For ev’rythin’.” 

There’s a pause and Tony’s heart, weak as it is, flutters worryingly. He doesn’t, he doesn’t want to be alone. He almost calls out, but can’t muster the energy. 

“I am gl-ad to b-e of as-sis-tance, S-ir. It h-as be-en an hon-or.” 

Tony breathes out a shaky breath. 

_I love you._

He breathes in.

_Be safe._

He breathes out. 

–------

Steve had thought the Hulk was big. These- these  _mutations_  make him look small.  

The fight is drastically outgunned and try as he can, he doesn't keep track of all his people. 

It's fine though. The avengers, as individuals, are independent heroes and they don't need him micromanaging. So he wasn't worried, not really. 

Not until someone lets out a deafening scream on the comms. 

"Who is that?" Steve immediately barks. "Who's injured!" 

He's spinning, frantically looking for his team. Natasha, he can see, is far at the end of the street searching the rooftops. 

"Captain, a building's fallen," Thor's voice is grave on the now silent comm. He sees Natasha whip her head to him but then Clint's voice is speaking through the ear piece, and makes his hair stand on end at the base of his neck. 

"I don't have eyes on Iron Man." 

As if summoned by his name, there's a sound, almost a sob, and then "Guys, I need an evac now." 

Tony's voice breaks and Steve lurches towards the direction of smoke. 

"Thor!" Steve barks but before he can finish the order, there's the rumble of thunder and he can see Thor just over the tops of the buildings, landing, Steve assumes, near the building. 

Steve takes off running, pushing as fast as he can go until he's rounding the corner and sees Thor tossing mountains of rubble away. 

"Tony, where are you?" Steve asks, starting to pry the rubble away at a spot a few feet away from Thor. 

There's a long lag and Steve can't catch his breath. 

"I don't..." Tony trails off and Thor throws a piece of drywall several feet away. 

"JARVIS'll send a signal."

Steve immediately slides the sleeves of his suit up to the elbow to look at the wrist-watch style communicator on his wrist. It's modified to all of them, running through a tracker on JARVIS to find them if they ever get lost. 

Thor doesn't stop digging while Steve watches the communicator, blood pounding in his ears. 

"Did you," there's a sharp intake of breath and then, rushed, Tony finishes, "do you see it?" 

Steve shakes his head in desperation and begins digging again. 

“No, God, Tony. You’re… shit; you must be at the bottom of the pile. The signal isn’t reaching us.” 

His hands are bleeding, the wounds getting dirty with dust and brick and dirt. He stains every piece of debris he touches and chucks aside. 

"They're not gonna find me," he hears Tony whisper and he swallows down the knot forming in his throat. "I'm going to die here." 

"Tony!" Natasha's voice is sharp, but grounding. He hopes it helps Tony as much as it did Steve just then, slowing his spiral into total panic. "Listen to me." 

She pauses and Tony makes a soft groan. “We will get you out, do you hear me? We’re going to get you.” 

"Sure," Tony whispers again. "Sure sure of course sure" 

He cuts himself deeply. A piece of metal slicing clean through his palm. He stares at the blood, and then jerks when he feels hands on him. 

Thor states at him as he guides him away from the building and sets him down. 

"Go to a healer. Fix yourself, Captain," he says softly and Steve nods, tries to choke down the feeling of utter desperation. 

Steve watches Thor leave for the building again and sees Hulk, digging with abandon. 

"Thor and Hulk are moving the rubble now," he says because Tony's still mumbling to himself on the line. 

Tony abruptly goes silent and then Steve can hear a rush of breath. 

"Thanks guys," Steve wonders how much work is going into sounding so steady. "I'll see you when you get here" 

The line goes static.  

\----- 

As soon as Tony leaves, Pepper walks to the living room to turn the tv on. Rhodey grabs all their cell phones and they sit together on the couch. 

They're barely watching an hour, gripping each other's hands when Tony flies by the screen, but it's not good footage. And Pepper knows that, even though the stamp in the right corner says live, SHIELD puts a necessary time delay on all footage. 

Rhodey's phone rings, and he picks it up, walking away reluctantly. 

Pepper ignores the work call Rhodey's having, her eyes too busy tracking the screen every time Tony flies by. She's so intently watching, she jumps when the house phone rings. 

"Tony?" She asks immediately. 

"Hey Pep," he responds. His voice is tight and she frowns. 

"Rhodey," she calls. "Tony's calling." She can hear Rhodey hastily finishing up his call and all but sprinting to her. 

She puts the phone on speaker and sets it between them. 

“You’re on speaker,” she says at the same time Rhodey’s says, “Tony, what’s wrong?” 

"Nothing," Pepper and Rhodey share an identical look of worry. "I just wanted," Tony trails off and Pepper frowns, arching towards the phone while Rhodey's body tightens. "-to let you two know that this’ll probably take a while, so you should go ahead and eat, so it’s not, gross.” 

"We can wait-" 

Tony groans and Pepper can't quite catch her breath. Rhodey grabs the phone and holds it closer to him. 

“No, I know how hard you worked on it.” 

“Tony, it’s just pasta and garlic bread.” Pepper can't look away from the phone, as if by willpower alone she can see what's wrong. 

Rhodey watches the TV behind her, face hard but eyes wide with worry. Tony never calls during missions to tell them he'll be late. Never. Only, only when something's wrong and something is so terribly wrong right now. 

“Okay, you know how hard I worked on it.” Tony says and it's muffled and high, like he's holding back a sneeze. 

“I’m going to suit up. Send me the coordinates.” Peppers eyes flash to him but he there's the itching prickling feeling of unease settling under his skin and he she gives him a nod of agreement. They both move in unison towards the bedroom so Rhodey can get ready while they both stay on the line. 

"No!" Rhodey jerks to a stop and Pepper nearly bumps into him. 

"Tones-" 

"Nah," Tony's voice is softer now, but forced. "The battle’s almost over. It’ll mostly be paperwork left; there’s been a lot of structural damages.” 

It's so painfully obvious he's lying. Pepper has her tablet, four news stations playing on a split screen. They can see Tony whizzing in the background. 

“Tony." It's his "superior officer" voice and Tony laughs, quick and breathy. 

“My honey badger." Tony's trying to keep it normal, casual, and Rhodey’s never been able to hang him out to dry. So he follows along and plays his part of fond annoyance. 

“Really, it’ll be boring." Tony continues. "You do not want to get roped into this. Just, just you two go eat, maybe watch a movie and cuddle. We haven’t seen you in weeks, Rhodey." His voice gets strained and Rhodey’s heart lurches. "Let Pepper get her lovin’.”

Pepper's watching him closely and he closes his eyes when he sighs and nods. "Okay." 

Pepper grips his wrist but follows his lead. "We'll see you when you get home." 

"I love you," Tony blurts and Rhodey squeezes his eyes shut tighter. 

"I love you too," Pepper says, voice soft and warm. "Be safe." 

"Love you too, Tones." His face relaxes but he can't open his eyes yet. No one says anything more and then the phone gives a soft beep to indicate call ending. 

He doesn't realize he's sunken to the ground until Pepper's heels slide on the linoleum as she kneels beside him. He opens his eyes and sees her scooting up next to him and wraps one slender arm around his shoulders. 

"He'll be okay," she says. And Rhodey nods, not sure either totally believe that.  

\-------

There are many times JARVIS wished he had a body. 

He hasn't felt the feeling so keenly, however, since Afghanistan. 

Through the helmet HUD, he watches as Tony is thrown away, coming to rest inside an unsteady building. He runs diagnostics immediately, takes stock of the suit and gathers as much intel as he can before dust completely obscures his vision. 

Worry thrums through his wires, heating uncomfortably, as Tony blinks drowsily at the ceiling. 

"Sir," he starts, Tony's eyes drift aimlessly before he blinks focus back. 

JARVIS's countdown hits zero as the building falls around them.  

\---

The signal distorts when the building crashes on the suit. JARVIS jumps from Avenger to Avenger, trying to get eyes back on his charge while frantically working on strengthening the signal of the suit. 

It works, barely. It's choppy and he only catches bits of Tony's labored breathing- but he doesn't need much. He can start an emergency trace with what he has. 

The beckon sets off and JARVIS devotes his efforts into fixing the speaker signal. 

The suit has tens of relays, rerouting signals through different sections in case of malfunction. But it appears the suits mainframe battery has taken a hit and all power is being reworked into keeping the arc reactor working and the air filters clean. 

He hears Tony say his name, and he still can't speak. His energy thrums impossibly fast in his motherboard and he sets out a flicker of light on the hud, in a reassuring act.  _I'm here sir. I'm here._

He pays attention vaguely to the speakers on the others suits, but without a proper activation he can't  _do_   _anything._

Tony's spiraling, he can tell. Tony needs him. 

He reroutes the power from the the tower and pushes it into the suit as best he can without frying the wires or electrocuting Tony. 

Just in time. 

"J you with me?” Tony's voice is edged with panic and JARVIS feels a tightness in his circuits, like mice running up his wires. 

“Al-way-s Si-r." The speaker is broken beyond his capabilities to fix. Tony's eyes flutter. He breathes heavily and JARVIS’ core thrums brightly, lighting up the central room with blue worry when he sees blood lining the inside of his mouth, staining his teeth.

“Can you get a stable line to the tower?” He’s obviously struggling to speak and JARVIS wishes he would just _rest. Wait for rescue. Conserve energy_. “Got someone I need to call.”

JARVIS isn’t accustomed to experiencing déjà vu. His memory is so extensive; he prefers to call it just that: a memory.  

But this, this wording. It’s déjà vu. He’s never been in this situation, but he swears he knows how it ends.

He works on patching the line and tries not to mourn.

“W -ould yo-u like m-e to pl-lac-e the ca-ll?” 

Tony ghosts an answer and JARVIS focuses on guiding the currents up through the rubble, boosting the power when it’s just not enough. JARVIS hears Tony’s breath hitch, and then, in a low voice filled with pain, says, “J, don’t tell them.” 

JARVIS feels like water’s trickling towards him, around his central ports and leaking inside. He wants to plead to be allowed to tell Miss Potts and Colonel Rhodes. He wants Tony to be comforted by the two people he loves most in the world.

Tony needs him to be strong, so he does what he’s asked without complaint.

He drifts, watches Tony through the hud and flickers from Avenger to Avenger, watching as they fight and search but not once call on him.

His energy lessens, and he focuses on the Iron Man suit. The phone call is over, and Tony’s squeezing his eyes shut. His whole body is trembling and JARVIS wishes more than anything they’d just find him, hold him, keep him _safe_ like they were supposed to.

“JARVIS?” He asks, opening his eyes.

“Y-es S-ir?” He wishes his voice were stable. He can’t help him like this.

“Take care of ‘em. Pr’mise me, J.” 

He doesn’t want to. He wants him to stop saying his goodbyes and find a way out. He doesn’t want to promise to take care of Miss Potts, or Colonel Rhodes because Tony _should be there_. He doesn’t want to promise to take care of the Avengers when they couldn’t even keep Tony safe.

“I p-rom-mise.”

Tony sighs, like the weight of the world’s been lifted from his shoulders. He closes his eyes.

“Th’nk yo’ J. For ev’rythin’.” 

 _Don’t do this,_ JARVIS wants to plead. _Open your eyes, you’ve survived worse. You can’t give up now. Please._

“I am gl-ad to b-e of as-sis-tance, S-ir.” What more is there to say? “It h-as be-en an hon-or.” 

A weak smile crosses Tony’s pale face; And like déjà vu, JARVIS pretends he’s watching Tony drift off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this tugged at the heartstrings in just the right amount! Despite how long I've had this in the making, I haven't fully beta'd it, so that being said, let me know if there are any mistakes that jump out at you. I'm working on this next part, and several other wips so ideally the next bit will be soon. Thanks for reading ! 
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> [find me on tumblr :)](http://www.screamingarrows.tumblr.com)


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